death of a season

I had a talk with the man in the moon.
He said the winds would be changing soon.
I asked him why it must be this way
He said, "Be patient and you'll find out someday.
The seasons change and with it comes
Other changes under the sun.
Some things die and others are born.
Some are mended, some are torn.
Once there was war, now there is peace.
What was silent now can speak.
What was thrown out, now you'll keep.
What made you laugh makes you weep.
What has been killed will now heal.
The love you had is now hate you feel.
You've planted seeds and built a wall,
Now uproot the weeds and let it fall,
For the griefs you've embraced and the wounds you've held close
Now turn to dancing as your stone heart lets go."
Then the man in the moon said I must count the cost
If I am to keep searching or give it up for lost.


© PR: 02.06.02
From Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 (NIV)

through the seasons

Snow flakes fall, fluttering down like a million butterflies, landing soft as kisses on my eyes, my cheek, my lips.

Gentle breezes wrap around me as warm loving arms to quiet my fears.

Bright sunlight shines down on me as glowing hot embers igniting my soul.

Autumn leaves of orange, yellow, and red fall and collect at my feet in a colorful mound of beautiful memories.

pr: 2010

tree

A strong and tall tree,
Branches reaching out; roots deep,
Gives shelter and hope.

pr: 2010

silence

I wait for you to say something ...
Anything to hear your voice.
But there's no sign of things changing
I never really had a choice
To understand what we've become.
Do you understand what I'm saying?
Can you read between the lines?
How can I keep going
When the silence defines
What we've become?
There's no end, only a beginning ...
Tomorrow or the next day.
I just keep waiting,
Waiting to hear you say --
Explain to me what we've become.

pr: 2010

anything

If I could give you anything
I would give you peace;
A quiet place to rest and
Breathe in the grace and beauty.
I would give you hope;
The words to give you strength
To help you on your journey.

If I could give you anything
I would give you joy;
All your heart's desire and
All that fills your dreams.
I would give you love;
The warmth that fills my heart,
Like a gentle summer stream.

pr: 2010

olive green

In an old abandoned house
Many troubles have been seen
Behind the broken windows
Painted trim of olive green
No one seems to have ever lived here
No one's been around for years
Only one things stands out
The door is stained with tears
Outside there's possibilities
For its worth to be restored
But inside the house is damaged
Too many years it's been ignored
It will take some time
To give it the attention that it needs
This old abandoned house
Painted trim of olive green


PR: 02.13.02

inspiration

I'm inspired to write today. About what, I'm not sure. It may merely be a distraction from the essay I need to write about how the U.S. elects a president. It may be a caffeine high from too much coffee this morning and too little food. It may even be from a late night chat I had with a friend I reconnected with on Facebook. Regardless, I want to write.

Obviously, the last several posts may have seemed to be filler (phyller?), but I can assure you they were not. The past month I haven't been able to focus and the things that have filled my mind, screaming to be released, have not made their way out in the forms of my own words. The songs, the poems, the philosophies of others have come to my rescue as I've wandered around in my own brain searching for a complete thought.

Yesterday I analyzed all I've been feeling lately, all the emotions that I've experienced on the roller coaster ride that is my life at the moment. This is what I came up with (in no particular order): anxiety, fear, betrayal, confusion, dismay, hopelessness, anger, despair, disgust, loneliness, surprise, happiness, elation, patience, excitement, satisfaction, love.

Now, thinking about all of that, there's a lump in my throat. Does that ever happen to you? You know, that tight choking feeling you get in your throat because of some strong emotion. I've felt it at other times in my life, but it started happening more frequently after Mom died. Now it's back again with a vengeance! A daily occurrence -- a sorrow that wells up in my throat to the point that I'm not sure I can breathe. But I do. Breathe. Deep. And the lump begins to melt, though not completely.

If you've been reading my blog for any time at all, you must have already seen the ups and downs, the highs and lows, the manic and the depressed states that I live in at any given moment. I almost feel obligated to apologize for it, but I won't -- this is who I am. I'd like to hope that someday I will find that middle ground, that place of peace and contentment that rests between two palm trees in a hammock on a beach. But just remember, if you come here and read some silly idiotic little post I've written, know I'm having a good day. And when there is a post which seems to be quite cryptic, say a little prayer for me, because I'm probably lost somewhere in my mind trying to find a way out.

the invitation

It doesn’t interest me
what you do for a living.
I want to know
what you ache for
and if you dare to dream
of meeting your heart’s longing.

It doesn’t interest me
how old you are.
I want to know
if you will risk
looking like a fool
for love
for your dream
for the adventure of being alive . . .

I want to know
if you can live with failure
yours and mine
and still stand at the edge of the lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon,
"Yes,"

. . . It doesn’t interest me
who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand
in the centre of the fire
with me
and not shrink back.

It doesn’t interest me
where or what or with whom
you have studied.
I want to know
what sustains you
from the inside
when all else falls away.

I want to know
if you can be alone
with yourself
and if you truly like
the company you keep
in the empty moments.

From The Invitation by Oriah

i believe

Over the past few months I've thought a lot about my life, what I've learned, and where I'm headed. I've wanted to write about it, but for some reason I just couldn't find the words to express all I have been feeling. Then I found the following post on a friends' page (Thanks Betsy!).

I Believe...
That just because two people argue
doesn't mean they don't love each other.
And just because they don't argue
doesn't mean they do love each other.

I Believe...
That we don't have to change friends
if we understand that friends change.

I Believe....
That no matter how good a friend is,
they're going to hurt you
every once in a while and
you must forgive them for that.

I Believe...
That true friendship continues to grow,
even over the longest distance.
Same goes for true love.

I Believe...
That you can do something in an instant
that will give you heartache for life.

I Believe....
That it's taken me a long time
to become the person I want to be.

I Believe...
That you should always leave loved ones with loving words.
It may be the last time you see them.

I Believe....
That you can keep going long after you think you can't.

I Believe....
That we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.

I Believe...
That either you control your attitude or it controls you.

I Believe...
That heroes are the people who do what has to be done,
when it needs to be done,
regardless of the consequences.

I Believe....
That money is a lousy way of keeping score.

I Believe....
That my best friend and I can do anything
or nothing and have the best time.

I Believe....
That sometimes the people you expect
to kick you when you're down
will be the ones to help you get back up.

I Believe...
That sometimes when I'm angry, I have the right to be angry,
But that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.

I Believe....
That maturity has more to do with
what types of experiences you've had,
and what you've learned from them,
and less to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated.

I Believe....
That it isn't always enough, to be forgiven by others.
Sometimes, you have to learn to forgive yourself.

I Believe...
That no matter how bad your heart is broken
the world doesn't stop for your grief.

I Believe.....
That our background and circumstances
may have influenced who we are,
but we are responsible for who we become.

I Believe...
That you shouldn't be so eager to find out a secret.
It could change your life forever.

I Believe....
Two people can look at the exact same thing
and see something totally different.

I Believe...
That your life can be changed in a matter of hours
by people who don't even know you.

I Believe...
That even when you think you have no more to give,
when a friend cries out to you,
you will find the strength to help.

I Believe...
That credentials on the wall
do not make you a decent human being.

I Believe...
That the people you care about most in life
are taken from you too soon.

I Believe...
The happiest of people don't necessarily
have the best of everything --
they just make the most of everything they have.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If you can't be content with what you have received,
be thankful for what you have escaped.
-- Author Unknown

in the grey

In the calm,
In the quietness,
The warmth of Your words flood my heart.

The chaos looms,
Darkness awaits,
The cold fingers reach out to grasp me.

In between,
In the grey,
I stand forever holding on to the hope:

Your words will penetrate,
Your love will permeate,
Your life will demonstrate,
And I will overcome.

© Heart Prints, 2008

butterfly & hawk

The butterfly flutters
Its wings and dances
Around, up and down
Here then there an
Unpredictable path
Of design and chances

High above the hawk
Does soar in
Slow and effortless control
Rising on the wind
Descending with
Purpose reaching its goal

The butterfly
The hawk coexist
Contradiction in motion
Within my heart and
Mind and very being
Contrasting emotion

green

Green smells like
fresh cut grass
watermelon and cucumbers

Green smells like
apple candy
marigolds
and pine

Green sometimes smells like
oysters or pickles
and sometimes like fish

Green has even smelt like
the fog that sneaks out of
the restroom.

But mostly green smells good.

a new day

In the silence of the morning
Just before the light of day
I see the colors of a new beginning
The chance to go another way

On the red horizon
Below a sky of pink and blue
I contemplate my options
And face the path for me or You

The sun begins its ascension
And the colors begin to fade
I must take careful consideration
Of the path I'll take today

For if I go on my own
Loneliness will surely follow
And if I can't walk with You
I can't face tomorrow

In the silence of the morning
I hear You calling out my name
And my choice seems so simple
But it's a burden just the same.

© 2002