From time to time -- ok, I'll be honest, it's more like day to day -- this stupid sadness comes over me. I know what it's about, I know why it's there, but there's just nothing I can do about it. Sure, I can distract myself with school and home projects and maybe -- maybe -- some housework. But the distractions aren't good enough. My mind wanders, my chest tightens, and I realize I need to breathe!
Writing this I hear the voices (not *those* voices) of my friends. My real friends, who would say, "Call me." I won't call, though -- and please don't call me. That sounds horrible, but I know myself well enough. I'm not in the mood to talk (Ha! I'm not in the mood to do anything) and really the only way through this is time. I hate time!! I'm too impatient. But by tomorrow it will be ok. Maybe. And RL will say, "I'll be home Thursday and we have a long weekend together. You'll be sick of me by Monday!" Well, I'd rather be sick of him than be missing him any day of the week.
