
When I was growing up I remember always frantically helping my Mom clean house, because someone was coming over. (We didn't have people over very often.) I guess I equated cleaning with having people over. I hated cleaning, so . . . Not that I really hate having people come to the house. It just always stresses me out. I can't seem to relax and enjoy the visit, because I'm always thinking of what I should have done before they got there. Of course, guests that show up unannounced completely devestate me. I'm overwhelmed with embarrassment.
I have been able to overcome my fears of what others think of me, but only to a certain extent. I've even overcome judging others actions as reflections of how they feel about me. But I am still struggling with what I fear they may think of me if they saw my unswept floors, dirty dishes, and loads of laundry (clean, but not put away).