From time to time -- ok, I'll be honest, it's more like day to day -- this stupid sadness comes over me. I know what it's about, I know why it's there, but there's just nothing I can do about it. Sure, I can distract myself with school and home projects and maybe -- maybe -- some housework. But the distractions aren't good enough. My mind wanders, my chest tightens, and I realize I need to breathe!
Writing this I hear the voices (not *those* voices) of my friends. My real friends, who would say, "Call me." I won't call, though -- and please don't call me. That sounds horrible, but I know myself well enough. I'm not in the mood to talk (Ha! I'm not in the mood to do anything) and really the only way through this is time. I hate time!! I'm too impatient. But by tomorrow it will be ok. Maybe. And RL will say, "I'll be home Thursday and we have a long weekend together. You'll be sick of me by Monday!" Well, I'd rather be sick of him than be missing him any day of the week.
6 comments:
Ok then. Don't call me.
"Breathe"..and lay off the coffee!
So you really ARE one of those women that wants to curl up in a ball and be left alone when you get depressed?
Usually us men -- or me, at least -- figure being around people or talking to people always helps. Kind of like, "She SAYS she wants to be left alone, but she doesn't really mean it."
Huh. Shows what I know.
I Like that song.
Yeah FTN pretty much you can't win. And it's not always the same thing. Sometimes we say we want to be alone when we really just want you to come over and hold us. But sometimes we really do just want to be alone.
Most of the time I think you'd be good to let us chill by ourselves for a while, but then come find us and cuddle.
Inhale... exhale .... tread water... inhale... exhale .... tread water ... *is this helping?* ...
I love you. Seriously. Call me. Or come by for a spiced pumpkin latte...
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