Sunday, October 28, 2007

45 going on 15

Inside every older person is a young person asking, 'What happened?' Do you remember the movie 13 Going on 30? Or Big? Or any other movie that portrays a teenager becoming an adult literally over night? Well, I think I'm in one of those movies. I think I'm having this dream or there's been some cosmic explosion that has sent my 15 year old self into the future, into my 45 year old future . . .

Not that it's a bad thing or my life has turned out horrible or I'm totally confused and don't know how I got here. Ok, wait. That last part, that's really what I'm feeling.Wasn't I just coming home from school, riding in the back of the bus? Yeah, I was one of the cool kids sitting on the back of the bus. But I would've been more cool if I had actually taken driver's ed and had been able to drive. Wasn't I just stressing over some stupid tests? Wait, I'm still stressing over tests. Well, anyway, you get the point. Life's gone by so fast and I don't feel any older than when I was 15.

Instead of those movies where the teenager turns into an adult, I want to go back to being a teenager, knowing all I know now. Back then no one could tell me anything, cause I thought I knew it all. Man, I must have been one arrogant b*tch. Luckily, I've been informed by my husband that I'm a lot better now. I guess things do get better with age.

But wouldn't it be great? Sure, I'd have to face all those struggles again, but this time I would be wiser. I wouldn't make the same mistakes. I could make different decisions and take my life in a whole other direction. Wait, would I still end up where I am now? Cause I like where I am now. Would I still have my kids? Would everything have to be different? Yeah? Well, then never mind. I'll just stay 45 and be happy.

Happy Birthday to me!!


Anonymous said...

Wow, I just felt like you were echoing some of my own thoughts. Or maybe my thoughts were echos of you thoughts.

Confused Husband said...

Happy Birthday!!

Sailor said...

Happy Birthday!!

Don't go back, only look forward- all the decisions that you made along the way, are what make you who you are now.

So yeah, be yourself, and enjoy!

XI Summit said...

Happy birthday, welcome to 45!