45 going on 15

Inside every older person is a young person asking, 'What happened?' Do you remember the movie 13 Going on 30? Or Big? Or any other movie that portrays a teenager becoming an adult literally over night? Well, I think I'm in one of those movies. I think I'm having this dream or there's been some cosmic explosion that has sent my 15 year old self into the future, into my 45 year old future . . .

Not that it's a bad thing or my life has turned out horrible or I'm totally confused and don't know how I got here. Ok, wait. That last part, that's really what I'm feeling.Wasn't I just coming home from school, riding in the back of the bus? Yeah, I was one of the cool kids sitting on the back of the bus. But I would've been more cool if I had actually taken driver's ed and had been able to drive. Wasn't I just stressing over some stupid tests? Wait, I'm still stressing over tests. Well, anyway, you get the point. Life's gone by so fast and I don't feel any older than when I was 15.

Instead of those movies where the teenager turns into an adult, I want to go back to being a teenager, knowing all I know now. Back then no one could tell me anything, cause I thought I knew it all. Man, I must have been one arrogant b*tch. Luckily, I've been informed by my husband that I'm a lot better now. I guess things do get better with age.

But wouldn't it be great? Sure, I'd have to face all those struggles again, but this time I would be wiser. I wouldn't make the same mistakes. I could make different decisions and take my life in a whole other direction. Wait, would I still end up where I am now? Cause I like where I am now. Would I still have my kids? Would everything have to be different? Yeah? Well, then never mind. I'll just stay 45 and be happy.

Happy Birthday to me!!