Thursday, March 18, 2010

forget blue mondays

First, let me say this post is probably going to be all over the place. I'm having a particularly bad day. For instance, as I was just about to leave the house this morning I spilled coffee all over me, had to completely change clothes, and was almost late for an appointment with the surgeon. (Just a follow-up and, yes, everything is fine. Also, I'm still working on the post about all that.) So forgive me if I'm not my usual "jolly" self.

For the past month or so I've been trying to take note of when I feel the darkness creeping up on me. And I discovered Thursdays are bad days for me. What's up with that? And this week I thought I was doing very well. I've been in fairly good spirits all week and then this morning it sneaked up on me.

Ok, that's not completely true. I was aware there could be a possibility of a meltdown, because it's Jeremy's birthday and ... Well, I don't want to get into that right now. But, anyway, I thought I was going to be ok with it, but not so much.

It surprised me a little, though, because my "creative juices" have really been flowing. Over the past four days I've written a few poems and started working on some ideas for about three books I want to write. Really. Three. Books. One of which I'll be writing with Brandi. (We are extremely excited about that!!)

When I woke up this morning, I was caught a little off guard when I felt those creepy crawly fingers tapping me on the shoulder. I was expecting to have the strength to tell the thing to just shut the hell up and leave me alone. But I didn't. I don't.

At this moment there is only one gleaming bit of sunshine ... I will hold on ... It is enough.

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