can we talk?

Early on in our marriage (and for a long time into it), RL and I encountered some communication problems. (Naaaa . . . really?) Something would happen, I would get upset, I would try talk to RL, but for whatever reason we would end up intensely discussing our lack of communication. As a result of this, we never got to the actual problem and never resolved anything. Ok, we've resolved a lot of things since then, but at the time we never resolved anything. Anyway, my point is the problem-solving was shut down because we weren't addressing the real issues.

Today I keep hearing about how people are complaining about the Obama administration's policies because they are racists. His opponents apparently have no legitimate reason for disagreeing with him except that he is black. But what these accusations encourage is the wrong discussion. We're no longer debating but defending ourselves against being racists.

Sure, I think there is still a problem in the U.S. with racism -- but not a lot. In fact, there is so little racism in the U.S. that we were able to elect our very first black President. When are we going to have a post-racial America and start debating the issues?