Monday, December 01, 2008

it happened sooner than expected

My son was held back in the first grade. I didn't like it, but we (his teacher and I) decided it would be best if he "matured" a little before going on to second grade. Over the years I realized that when he was 16 most of those in his own class would be 14 and 15. It was then I made the decision that he would not be allowed to date until he was 17. I figured by then the girls he would be dating would at least be 16.

So when my daughter came along it was an automatic rule: no dating until 17. However, the reasoning was a little different. When she begged and pleaded with me to let so-and-so take her out on a date I would remind her that she had to be 17. I reasoned with her that I preferred she had at least a year's experience driving before she went out on a date alone with a guy.

Now my daughter is 19. The other day she was talking about how glad she was that she hadn't gone out with a bunch of different guys in high school and, though it had been really tough with all of her friends dating, she was glad I made her wait. She said, "You were right, Mom."

Wow! I was wasn't expecting that!

8 comments:

So Gone Over You said...

It's funny, looking back on it now, I'm glad my parents were so strict with me. Some things I wish they had been less strict about, but overall, I'm glad because I think I turned out well.

Desmond Jones said...

Every once in a while, just out of the blue, they let you know that, just maybe, they 'get it', just the least little bit. . .

And those moments are pure gold. . .

Xavier said...

Wow, that's a first ..... someone who was stricter than us!

And treasure them moments, we've had a few here and there and it's pretty cool when the brats get it. Even when they don't say it!

Therese in Heaven said...

My parents had a similar rule and I ABSOLUTELY believe they were right.

But most of our friends had the same rule, so there wasn't a lot of "pressure" about it for us. None of the people who we would've dated (were we allowed) would have been able to date us!

Jeff said...

See. You are a good mom. Always have been. And it doesn't matter how long it takes for them to realize it.

for a different kind of girl said...

Did you happen to have her write that down and then go together to have it notarized? :)

I have a friend with a 14 year old daughter who is all traumatized after going through a breakup with her boyfriend. Another friend and I were talking yesterday about it and we both said, "Who let's their 14 year old daughter have a boyfriend, anyway?" Clearly neither of us (when the time comes...and our sons want to date them...)

FTN said...

"You were right, Mom"??? That's one you don't hear very often!

I can't remember if I was 16 or 17 when I went on my first date(s). But then, it wasn't because my parents didn't let me up until that point... Ahem.

Bogart in P Towne said...

That had to feel good!