Friday, May 23, 2008

wife/mom

There's a line women must walk. Actually, maybe not all women. Maybe it's just married women with children. The line between treating their children as children and their husbands as . . . well, not as a child. It's a very difficult line not to cross and probably nonexistent to some, but it has been revealed to me several times over my 20-year marriage.

When I was in my twenties and thirties, for some reason, I had this idea that everything just had to be a certain way. The house had to look a certain way, it must be cleaned a certain way, and everyone had to do everything a certain way or it wasn't right. Thinking about it now, no wonder I was so stressed and acted like such a . . . well, never mind about that. But I definitely understand why I was always exhausted.

Anyway, so when the kids would clean their rooms I would always go in and check to make sure it was done "right." You know how kids are. They'll throw everything in the closet or under the bed and tell you they've finished cleaning their room. I know I did that. So I made sure they knew I wasn't going to let them get away with it. And that's ok, if it's your kids. But when your husband is helping you with the housework the rules are completely different. As a matter of fact, if your husband is helping you at all with housework he deserves mass quantities of wild sex -- from you, his wife, of course!

But if he, for instance, is helping with the laundry and asks, "Uh, honey, how do you fold these sheets?" You say, "Anyway you want!" Because, let's face it, does it really matter, in the big picture, how the sheets are folded? No! Really, it doesn't.

This past weekened I had the opportunity to pass this knowledge on to my daughter. Earlier, I was in the kitchen washing dishes and thinking about all the other work I still needed to do and kind of getting a little upset, because RL was in the front room watching tv. Then a few minutes later, I realized, yes he was watching tv, but he was also folding laundry! OMG!! I thought I saw a glow of light around his head. I heard a choir singing and harps playing. Then I turned back to the dishes hoping that it wasn't all a dream.

Later, my daughter got home from work and sat down in the front room to watch tv. She noticed the stacks of her clothes that had been folded and asked why her clothes had been folded wrong-side out. Well, I have to tell you, my head nearly spun around like I was Linda Blair! I told her, basically, that you don't complain how someone folds laundry when they usually never fold laundry. It's enough that they even tried. Be thankful it was done at all, especially when she can do it herself!

So ladies remember, children are children and need instruction and discipline. You're not your husband's mother and that's a good thing, because that's just gross when you think about it. In conclusion, husbands can fold laundry any way they want (if they want) and children can fold their own!