Wednesday, March 19, 2008

a good talkin' to

Okay, fatty-fat-fatso! Short sleeve weather is almost here. Soon you'll be able to shed those layers of long-sleeved shirts and jackets and coats. Shed those layers of thermal underwear under your "fat" jeans. Soon you'll be able to show off what you've got and, baby, you've got quite a bit more than you should.

You wanna wear those skimpy, figure hugging tank tops, don't ya? You wanna wear those sexy jeans don't ya? You wanna fly your freak flag and look good doing it, don't ya? And you're vacationing at the beach in July; that'll be here before you know it. You wanna look at least halfway decent in a two-piece, don't ya? Well, you're gonna have to get to work, then.

You've really gotten lazy and let yourself go. Do you realize you've gained 10 pounds in the past 6 months? And after you lost nearly 20 pounds last summer! Aren't you ashamed of yourself? Don't you have any pride? C'mon, girl, you're better than that!

It's time you quit makin' excuses and put some miles on that treadmill. Get those weights out and quit whining about how hard it is. Quit eating potato chips, drinking sodas, and chocolate milk. Lay off the pints of ice cream on Sundays. Drink more water and take your vitamins, dang it! I'm sick of lookin' at ya!!

9 comments:

I Smile 2 Much said...

Omigosh girl, you are sooo funny. ; ) And totally cute ; D

You look good to me. Seriously. But I hear ya because I think we're always our own worst critic. Cause I know I am on myself. ; ) So I know what ya mean. ; )

Keep smiling & lovin' what ya got ; ) Feelin' sexy & beautiful is all about how I feel inside my mind. And I'm so glad I learned that when I did. ; )

You are beautiful. TRULY. 10 lbs more or not~ you just seriously REALLY are.

For reals! ; ) love ya, girl!! ; )

where beach are u vacationing to in july, btw?! that sounds like SOOOOO fun!!!

Sailor said...

Look good to me, but I'll give you all the encouragement I can, if you think you need to lose.

hugs and support for you!

for a different kind of girl said...

The fear of short sleeve shirts again is the only reason I've been sad to see the remaining strip of snow vanish in our yard! I kick myself into gear, but I must kick it harder! Here's to good luck all around!

Desmond Jones said...

Wow, Phyllis, I'm glad I'm not your self - you are rough, girl!

What Sailor said - You look great to me, but I'll offer any encouragement you care to have from me.

Heck, I lost 90 lb. a couple years back; I've mostly kept it off, but my BMI still says I'm 'obese'. (*sigh*) Just gotta keep flogging it, I guess. . .

FTN said...

Are you talking to me? Because I really LIKE potato chips.

Therese in Heaven said...

I completely sympathize with you right now. I'm not at all happy with my "baby weight."

Luckily, summer is a good motivation to get in shape, right?

XI Summit said...

Do what'll make you feel good, but I agree with most that you are looking good from this angle. (maybe if I say it enough someone'll believe me. Maybe. Some day? Doesn't anyone wanna make an honest man out of me? Please? Bummer.)

1blueshi1 said...

Gak! Mercy, Drill Sargeant Renee! I have been to the walk track for the last 2 nights in a ROW, so let's forget to mention the 2 glasses of wine and 2 bowls of spaghetti (very healthy! made with organic canned tomatoes!(
'K ;)
'cuz me & my Cesaerean section scars? will never be venturing out in a 2 piece AGAIN.

Melissa said...

Shhh! If I listen too much to that, I'll be forced to start moving around, watching what I eat, and making some deliberate changes. I'm feeling torn because while I'm excited Spring is (almost) here, I am not ready for the Summer that must follow. My friend just invited my husband and I to join her family this summer in a place where bathing suits are expected attire, and my first thought was Spare tire. What are you going to do about that spare tire?!