A few weeks ago Aphron made his Hate Post and it has stayed with me ever since. It was one of those posts that brought so many thoughts to my mind there was no way I could leave a simple comment. In order to regain any peace of mind, I had to sort out all these thoughts and emotions and post it here. And I don't know that this is as much of a counter-point of his post, but rather a continued discussion on the subject.
We love everything. We love our spouse, our children, our cars, our friends, our friend's house, our friend's new clothes. We love that movie, that song, that whatever it is . . . we love it! And because we love everything love becomes, I think, diluted. Not that we cannot differentiate between the love we have for our spouse and the movie we just watched with them. No, I mean, we lose the real meaning of love.
The Greeks had several words for love: Eros (erotic, passionate love), Philia (friendship love), Thelema (desire), Storge (natural affection), and Agape (unconditional love). So there was never any question what type of love was meant. But today, the word love is used so much and for so many different things, the meaning can be misinterpreted.
We treat the word hate in the same manner and dilute it just as much. We hate everything as well. We hate our spouse, the weather, the traffic, and spinach. The meaning varies as much as the intensity. Though Webster's definition of hate is an intense hostility and aversion usually deriving from fear, anger, or sense of injury, that may or may not be exactly what we mean when we say we hate something. To take it to the very extreme, from a biblical standpoint, hate is the equivalent of murder.
In searching our hearts to find what our true feelings are for our spouse, especially if there is a need or desire for reconciliation, there would need to be some light of hope. We need a starting point, something to work with. To simply say, "I hate my wife," kills any and all hope; there's nothing left but hate, anger, and resentment.
But if we can find within ourselves even the simplest form of love, even if it is the "I love my wife, because she's the mother of my children," it is still love. And with that loves comes a hope that could bring life to a greater form of love.