For the past week or so I've been writing a lot of fluff. I didn't want to write anything, but didn't want to completely go into hibernation either. But for so long my mind has been on other things. Serious things. Things that I can't write about here, because they are much more personal and intimate thoughts than I could comfortably discuss here.
The problem is I want to talk, I want to be open, I want to put it all out there. But I can't. I can't even really talk about it with RL, because he wouldn't take me seriously. I'm one of those people who can stay on a particular subject for days and just talk it to death. So that's how I think RL feels when I try to talk to him. Like I'm beating a dead horse. But I never feel that it's settled.
So I've been trying to escape serious thought. I don't want to think anymore. I want to turn off my brain so my mind can't talk to me, confuse me, berate me. It's affected my sleep and I suspect it will be worse next week, because RL is going out of town again. My mind goes into overdrive when he goes out of town. I get a lump in my throat and tears come to my eyes, even now, just thinking about it.
So, tell me, do crazy thoughts (justified or not) scramble your brain? And how do you handle it?