Wednesday, January 02, 2008

control depression

So I asked myself, "What is it that makes you so depressed?" Because sometimes it seems that one day I'm fine and the next I just wake up that way. It's not enough to know I get depressed; I have to know why. There has to be some reason for it. Surprisingly (at least it was to me) the answer has to do with control.

Mentally, I noted the things that ultimately trigger depression in me. Then I thought about what these things have in common. The answer is all of them are things which I have no control. For instance, when RL tells me he's going out of town on business (which I have no control over) the next few days and most of the time he's gone I will get depressed. It's a double whammy! I get depressed because of a certain situation AND I get depressed because I can't do anything about it.

Well, that was quite an eye-opener! I mean, I've known for years that I have a control problem and I've been working on that. But I had no idea not having control triggered the depression. But that makes complete sense to me now.

Of course, the first thing that came to my mind after I realized this was the Serenity Prayer:

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.

It's all about what can and can't be controlled. It's about stepping down and letting God be God, because He is in control of everything anyway. When I try to take control and then realize I don't have that power, I become weak, helpless, and hopeless. But if I would take the situation to God, when it first comes to my mind and say, "I can't do anything about this. Help me get through it." Then I've allowed God to bring me strength, help, and hope.


Ron Burgundy said...

Very well said. I'm working on letting me go on God's plan rather than asking God to bless my plan.

Found your blog from Somethin to SMILE about - very nice.

Happy 2008. Ron.

Little Town Big Life said...

Well, dearie, I hate to mention this, BUT!!! As I got closer & closer to the big 5-0, my depression got worse & worse! For no apparent reason gloom & rage would take over. I thought I could "pray" my way through it!! Then it was revealed to me that God also gave us Drs & meds to help us get through these trying times!!! And I have never been better.

Except for the migraines--which, after struggling with all my life, I now find there are also meds for.

Why live unhappy & pained when life is so short, and so very wonderful????

Believe me--I am an anti drug person from way way back---but, sometimes we gotta let go & let His provisions take over!!!

Here's a hug ((()))

FTN said...

It sounds like the first big step was figuring out the control issue. That's definitely something you can make an effort to change. My wife has some control issues of her own, and she's also experienced depression in the past (she was on a variety of medications for awhile and none of them seemed to do much of anything).

Sometimes just letting go of the need for control can be a good thing.

Phyllis Renée said...

Welcome, Ron! That Leslie is one goofy chick (I mean that in the most loving way)!

LT - I've been vitamins and supplements for a few years now. Of course, I'm not always real good about taking them daily, but I think some of my problem has to do more with my thought process rather than my hormones (or lack thereof). Not that I'm in denial about getting old, cause everyone know I'm not old. Gosh! I'm only 22 and half :o)

FTN - Yeah, it's a lot easier to try to work on an issue if you know where to start. I may still get sad about certain situations in my life, but now at least I can see that line between sadness and sinking into depression.

XI Summit said...

For many people depression is a condition. For many, it is a choice. You have reached a point of wisdom that many fail to see even into their later years. Hang on to that, my mother has chosen depression when control eludes her for the better part of her 68 years and still has not learned.

Write it down, keep God close. Good for you!

Nanette said...

Even though I don't believe in God, I do find the words of the serenity prayer very useful.

I'm glad you were able to allow your faith to comfort you. :)