Wednesday, May 10, 2006

running through (conclusion)

There's the real problem: dealing with the issues as they come instead of letting them overtake me. Whether it's a run I missed or something in my spiritual life. I can run that evening or the next morning. I can ask God to forgive me for those defeating thoughts and to help me when I'm weak. Instead of beating myself up and feeling defeated for days, the best -- the hardest -- thing to do is just get right back on my feet and go on.

My first 5K race (which also happened to be my last) I was so excited. I kept telling myself not to let the adrenaline push me. I would be disciplined and, no matter my time, I would finish the race. That was my only goal.

As I came around the last turn I found cars parked on either side of the narrow road. People were already walking back to their cars! I heard one of them exclaim, "There's still people running?" Yes, I was still running. As I approached the finish line the announcer reported over the loud speaker, "Hey, there's still a runner out there! What took you so long?" I nearly cried right then and there. I was exhausted and humiliated, but I had reached my goal: I had finished the race.

One day I'll finish this race called life and I will hear, "Well done, good and faithful servant." That is my goal. Until then I'm working on my form, building my strength. I'm still training, still running. There will be more hills to climb, more obstacles to face, whatever this life may bring. But I am determined to finish the course. Look how far I've already come . . . I can't quit now!


Jameson Early Inc. said...

You are an incredible writer.

How you been?

Lisa said...

I just read through the whole "running" series again - and of course the conclusion . . . you have explained from your heart the heart of depression. Like a blanket of "dismal forebodings" (from Hind's Feet on High Places).

I wonder does a runner have to also learn how to rest well while in training?

You are dear.

Has anyone ever explained to you the idea of the "good enough" woman?

r.m. largent said...

Spituality is a personal journey built on its own pace. It resides in your heart...and all around you. It's not a competition but an achievement acquired over time. Have faith and you will succeed.