Tuesday, November 25, 2008

humor for the pain

Note: I pulled this from the archives. Thanksgiving is a really difficult time for me and rather than post a completely new rendition of the same old thing, I decided to cheat. And just so you know, I'm taking this book with me to work so I can have a few laughs before the big day.

Have you ever been told some news that was so shocking, it felt as though someone knocked you upside the head with a skillet? That's how my life has been for several years now. Seems like every time I turn around there's another person standing in front of me with a skillet in their hands. It's enough to make a person hide under the bed and never answer the door.

The news -- your son is gay, your mom has cancer, your child tried to kill themself, and "Mom, I'm dropping out of school," -- is devasting and inconceivable. Daily life became surreal as I would make the bed, feed the dog, buy the groceries. My body was on autopilot. The scars can't be seen by others, but the ringing in my ears gets so loud others must be able to hear it!

But in the midst of it all there are small blessings of laughter. My dear friend gave me a book titled I'm So Glad You Told Me What I Didn't Wanna Hear, by Barbara Johnson. It is full of little morsels that melt the lump in my throat. I read it a couple of years ago and, now that my son has moved back home (Edit: He moved out almost two years ago and I haven't seen or heard from him since. I call him once a week and leave a message on his voice mail just to tell him I love him.), I am reading it again.

Here are some of my favorites:

~I need some of my problems to help take my mind off some of the others.

~Blessed are they who clip coupons, for they shall be redeemed.

~Sometimes my mind is so uncomfortable, I wish I could go somewhere and take it off.

~It is bad to suppress laughter. It goes back down and spreads to your hips.

~We probably wouldn't worry about what people think of us if we could know how seldom they do.

~Remember, every cloud has a silver lining . . . and sometimes a bolt of lightning.

~Time wounds all heels.

~The more you complain, the longer God lets you live

~One way to handle stress: Lie on your back to eat celery, using your navel as a salt dipper.

~Just when I nearly had the answer, I forgot the question.

~If you have the same problems I have . . . please seek help immediately!

~Most people have minds like concrete: mixed up or permanently set.

~Break out dancing every now and then . . . it'll help pass the time until they come to take you away.

~Do NOT come in out of the rain.

Hope these have brought a little laughter to your day.


Sailor said...

Laughing is really such a blessing all by itself; I hope you find that your book and humor, and a prayer or two for you, help make the holiday easier. Prayers on the way-


Cocotte said...

I'll remember you in prayer today, PR.

randomblink said...

~We probably wouldn't worry about what people think of us if we could know how seldom they do.

LOL! OMG! That is righteous... and true... wait, what day is it?

for a different kind of girl said...

Those are better than all of the fortune cookie proverbs I've gotten lately.

My prayers and thoughts are with you and your family this season.

Desmond Jones said...


I'll pray that God give you some small, unmistakable sign of His love this Thanksgiving. . .


And, I've heard it said that

When you're 20, you worry about what people think about you;

When you're 40, you don't care what people think about you;

And when you're 60, you realize that they really weren't thinking about you all along. . .

Bunny said...

These did bring a smile to my face. Want to go bowling with my family on Thanksgiving?

Jeff said...

Life happens. Stuff happens. Finally you die (what a relief). But in the meantime it helps to know that there are others who share the pain.

Imagine going bald and finding that you have a huge dip in your skull right on the edge of the bald spot. Not a pretty thing.

I need a tooth pulled, a disk shaved, a knee replaced, and some liposuction.

My wife has to cross her legs when she sneezes, coughs, or laughs really hard to keep from peeing. (And I'm not even mentioning lipo in this paragraph.)

We have two ten year old cars, a tiny house, dead ovaries, a swelling prostate, and no one wants to bailout our mortgage crisis.

Now, I realize that I have other things that i should be thankful for. But this year I've decided just to be thankful... without a list.

Okay, only one list item for this blog: I'm thankful for your friendship, Phyllis.

Buttafly32681 said...

I've been quite busy lately, trying to catch up on everyone's blog. I like the new layout! And I did enjoy this post. A lot. I hope things are going better, or well for you. It's tough around the holidays for so many different reasons, for everyone. Thinking and praying for you!